DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?
This is a very good article.
Those who are still single may learn something from here.
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage...
During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?" In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"
Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.
People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.
Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.
But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, could drive you nuts.
The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.
At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.
Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.
But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You could.
And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later.. Because (listen carefully to this):
THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.
Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.
Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. .. you can "make" love.
Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.
Remember this always:
"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go." So, spent your lifetime finding out the loveable things about your spouse so that you could LOVE your spouse everyday in every way in an EVERLASTING marriage. That is why granpa's love to your granma seems so PURE.
Remember, you are with the "RIGHT" person. If not, you wouldn't have wanted to marry your spouse in the first place.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Silence of the Heart
It has been a month since i enrolled as a student in univ again..gosh!!! havent really had much time to be online... is it? or was i just plain lazy again as usual hahahaha... whatever it is.. here i am...after being commented by my cuzzie reg my stagnant blog.. i squeezed my lil time to be here... jotting what came to my mind.
K.. lemme try and refresh what i had bee tru' for the past month... i remembered first day at univ.. i parked alongside of the road.. and when i came back from lectures... my car was hit on the front mudguard.. dented and scratched here and there.. bugger!!! i just painted the whole car few months back.. and here again exacty at the same spot my car wat hit. I guess this year m not very lucky with car... chinese new year.. a bikey hit me.. was quite... and he ran away back to India before i could managed to get payment from him.. the police as usual are very slow.. darn!!!
Then second day at univ.. i took the wrong exit and stupidly ended up in another massive traffic jammed (before that was jammed at two places... after Sg Besi toll and at NPE near angkasapuri). I was teribbly late for the class and lecturer made a gesture upon my arrival.. sheisherr!!!
And now... the forth week of classes.. i hardly have anything in my brain. Everyday i will have 6 hours of lectures to attend... and the amount can be absorbed by my frail brain is only a little... argh God help me...i feel like i m lost... this is post grad.. no guidance at all.. whether u understand or not.. u have to work it out.. hate that!!!
Now.. i have to drive abt 1 hr away to attend eeting in the univ at 1230... feels so lazy bt if i didnt go.. lecturers will take remarks on it.. i dont want to be balck-listed...
Until then.. pray for my succes dear friends
K.. lemme try and refresh what i had bee tru' for the past month... i remembered first day at univ.. i parked alongside of the road.. and when i came back from lectures... my car was hit on the front mudguard.. dented and scratched here and there.. bugger!!! i just painted the whole car few months back.. and here again exacty at the same spot my car wat hit. I guess this year m not very lucky with car... chinese new year.. a bikey hit me.. was quite... and he ran away back to India before i could managed to get payment from him.. the police as usual are very slow.. darn!!!
Then second day at univ.. i took the wrong exit and stupidly ended up in another massive traffic jammed (before that was jammed at two places... after Sg Besi toll and at NPE near angkasapuri). I was teribbly late for the class and lecturer made a gesture upon my arrival.. sheisherr!!!
And now... the forth week of classes.. i hardly have anything in my brain. Everyday i will have 6 hours of lectures to attend... and the amount can be absorbed by my frail brain is only a little... argh God help me...i feel like i m lost... this is post grad.. no guidance at all.. whether u understand or not.. u have to work it out.. hate that!!!
Now.. i have to drive abt 1 hr away to attend eeting in the univ at 1230... feels so lazy bt if i didnt go.. lecturers will take remarks on it.. i dont want to be balck-listed...
Until then.. pray for my succes dear friends
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
4 isteri... jagalah yang pertama
Salam,
Sorry i have been busy lately and was unable to update my blog that often... darn!!! that was a lame excuse hahaha... okaylah.. i was lazy mahhhh... currently maidless and hardly have time to be online.
Today i wanna share a nice article i recently stumbled upon.... It was concerning 4 wives and i personally believed it is a good article. Here goes friends....
Suatu ketika, ada seorang pedagang kaya yang mempunyai empat orang isteri. Dia mencintai isteri yang keempat dan memberikan harta dan kesenangan yang banyak. Sebab, isteri keempat adalah yang tercantik di antara kesemua isterinya. Maka, tidak hairan lelaki ini sering memberikan yang terbaik untuk isteri keempatnya itu.
Pedagang itu juga mencintai isterinya yang ketiga. Dia sangat bangga dengan isterinya ini, dan sering berusaha untuk memperkenalkan isteri ketiganya ini kepada semua temannya. Namun dia juga selalu bimbang kalau-kalau isterinya ini akan lari dengan lelaki yang lain.
Begitu juga dengan isterinya yang kedua. Dia juga sangat menyukainya. Dia adalah seorang isteri yang sabar dan penuh pengertian. Bila-bila masa pun apabila pedagang ini mendapat masalah, dia selalu meminta pandangan isterinya yang kedua ini. dialah tempat bergantung. Dia selalu menolong dan mendampingi suaminya melalui masa-masa yang sulit.
Sama halnya dengan isterinya yang pertama. Dia adalah pasangan yang sangat setia. Dia sering membawa kebaikan bagi kehidupan keluarga ini. dialah yang merawat dan mengatur semua kekayaan dan usaha si suami. Akan tetapi si pedangang tidak begitu mencintainya. Walaupun isteri pertamanya ini begitu sayang kepadanya namun, pedagang ini tidak begitu memperdulikannya.
Suatu ketika, si pedagang sakit. Kemudian dia menyedari mungkin masa untuknya hidup tinggal tidak lama lagi. Dia mula merenungi semua kehidupan indahnya, dan berkata dalam hati, "Saat ini, aku punya empat orang isteri. Namun, apabila aku meninggal, aku akan sendiri. Betapa menyedihkan jika aku harus hidup sendiri."
Lalu dia meminta semua isterinya datang dan kemudian mulai bertanya pada isteri keempatnya, "Kaulah yang paling kucintai, kuberikan kau gaun dan perhiasan yang indah. Nah sekarang, aku akan mati, mahukah kau mendampingiku dan menemaniku?" Isteri keempatnya terdiam. "Tentu saja tidak!" jawab isterinya yang keempat, dan pergi begitu sahaja tanpa berkata-kata lagi. Jawapan itu sangat menyakitkan hati seakan-akan ada pisau yang terhunus dan menghiris-hiris hatinya.
Pedagang yang sedih itu lalu bertanya kepada isteri ketiganya, "Aku pun mencintaimu sepenuh hati, dan saat ini, hidupku akan berakhir. Mahukah kau ikut denganku, dan menemani akhir hayatku?". Isteri ketiganya menjawab, "Hidup begitu indah di sini. Aku akan menikah lagi jika kau mati". Pedagang begitu terpukul dengan jawapan isteri ketiganya itu.
Lalu, dia bertanya kepada isteri keduanya, "Aku selalu berpaling padamu setiap kali mendapat masalah. Dan kau selalu mahu membantuku. Kini, aku perlu sekali pertolonganmu. Kalau aku mati, mahukah kau ikut dan mendampingiku?" Si isteri kedua menjawab perlahan, "Maafkan aku tak mampu menolongmu kali ini. Aku hanya boleh menghantarmu ke liang kubur saja. Nanti, akan kubuatkan makam yang indah buatmu."
Jawapan itu seperti kilat yang menyambar. Si pedagang kini berasa putus asa.
Tiba-tiba terdengar satu suara, "Aku akan tinggal denganmu. Aku akan ikut ke manapun kau pergi. Aku, tak akan meninggalkanmu, aku akan setia bersamamu." Si pedagang lalu menoleh ke arah suara itu dan mendapati isteri pertamanya yang berkata begitu. Isteri pertamanya tampak begitu kurus. Badannya seperti orang yang kelaparan. Berasa menyesal, si pedagang lalu berguman, "Kalau saja aku mampu melayanmu lebih baik pada saat aku mampu, tak akan kubiarkan kau seperti ini isteriku."
Teman, sesungguhnya kita punya empat orang isteri dalam hidup ini;
ISTERI KEEMPAT adalah tubuh kita. Seberapa banyak waktu dan belanja yang kita keluarkan untuk tubuh kita supaya tampak indah dan gagah, semuanya akan hilang. Ia akan pergi segera apabila kita meninggal. Tak ada keindahan dan kegagahan yang tersisa saat kita menghadapNYA.
ISTERI KETIGA adalah status sosial dan kekayaan kita. Saat kita meninggal, semuanya akan pergi kepada yang lain. Mereka akan berpindah dan melupakan kita yang pernah memilikinya.
ISTERI KEDUA pula adalah kerabat dan teman-teman. Seberapa pun dekat hubungan kita dengan mereka, mereka tak akan mampu bersama kita selamanya. Hanya sampai kuburla mereka akan menemani kita.
DAN SESUNGGUHNYA ISTERI PERTAMA adalah jiwa dan amal kita. Mungkin kita sering
mengabaikan dan melupakannya demi kekayaan dan kesenangan peribadi. Namun, sebenarnya, hanya jiwa dan amal kita sajalah yang mampu untuk terus setia dan mendampingi kemanapun kita melangkah. Hanya amal yang mampu menolong kita diakhirat kelak.
Jadi, selagi mampu, perlakukanlah jiwa dan amal kita dengan bijak. Jangan sampai kita menyesal kemudian hari!
Sorry i have been busy lately and was unable to update my blog that often... darn!!! that was a lame excuse hahaha... okaylah.. i was lazy mahhhh... currently maidless and hardly have time to be online.
Today i wanna share a nice article i recently stumbled upon.... It was concerning 4 wives and i personally believed it is a good article. Here goes friends....
Suatu ketika, ada seorang pedagang kaya yang mempunyai empat orang isteri. Dia mencintai isteri yang keempat dan memberikan harta dan kesenangan yang banyak. Sebab, isteri keempat adalah yang tercantik di antara kesemua isterinya. Maka, tidak hairan lelaki ini sering memberikan yang terbaik untuk isteri keempatnya itu.
Pedagang itu juga mencintai isterinya yang ketiga. Dia sangat bangga dengan isterinya ini, dan sering berusaha untuk memperkenalkan isteri ketiganya ini kepada semua temannya. Namun dia juga selalu bimbang kalau-kalau isterinya ini akan lari dengan lelaki yang lain.
Begitu juga dengan isterinya yang kedua. Dia juga sangat menyukainya. Dia adalah seorang isteri yang sabar dan penuh pengertian. Bila-bila masa pun apabila pedagang ini mendapat masalah, dia selalu meminta pandangan isterinya yang kedua ini. dialah tempat bergantung. Dia selalu menolong dan mendampingi suaminya melalui masa-masa yang sulit.
Sama halnya dengan isterinya yang pertama. Dia adalah pasangan yang sangat setia. Dia sering membawa kebaikan bagi kehidupan keluarga ini. dialah yang merawat dan mengatur semua kekayaan dan usaha si suami. Akan tetapi si pedangang tidak begitu mencintainya. Walaupun isteri pertamanya ini begitu sayang kepadanya namun, pedagang ini tidak begitu memperdulikannya.
Suatu ketika, si pedagang sakit. Kemudian dia menyedari mungkin masa untuknya hidup tinggal tidak lama lagi. Dia mula merenungi semua kehidupan indahnya, dan berkata dalam hati, "Saat ini, aku punya empat orang isteri. Namun, apabila aku meninggal, aku akan sendiri. Betapa menyedihkan jika aku harus hidup sendiri."
Lalu dia meminta semua isterinya datang dan kemudian mulai bertanya pada isteri keempatnya, "Kaulah yang paling kucintai, kuberikan kau gaun dan perhiasan yang indah. Nah sekarang, aku akan mati, mahukah kau mendampingiku dan menemaniku?" Isteri keempatnya terdiam. "Tentu saja tidak!" jawab isterinya yang keempat, dan pergi begitu sahaja tanpa berkata-kata lagi. Jawapan itu sangat menyakitkan hati seakan-akan ada pisau yang terhunus dan menghiris-hiris hatinya.
Pedagang yang sedih itu lalu bertanya kepada isteri ketiganya, "Aku pun mencintaimu sepenuh hati, dan saat ini, hidupku akan berakhir. Mahukah kau ikut denganku, dan menemani akhir hayatku?". Isteri ketiganya menjawab, "Hidup begitu indah di sini. Aku akan menikah lagi jika kau mati". Pedagang begitu terpukul dengan jawapan isteri ketiganya itu.
Lalu, dia bertanya kepada isteri keduanya, "Aku selalu berpaling padamu setiap kali mendapat masalah. Dan kau selalu mahu membantuku. Kini, aku perlu sekali pertolonganmu. Kalau aku mati, mahukah kau ikut dan mendampingiku?" Si isteri kedua menjawab perlahan, "Maafkan aku tak mampu menolongmu kali ini. Aku hanya boleh menghantarmu ke liang kubur saja. Nanti, akan kubuatkan makam yang indah buatmu."
Jawapan itu seperti kilat yang menyambar. Si pedagang kini berasa putus asa.
Tiba-tiba terdengar satu suara, "Aku akan tinggal denganmu. Aku akan ikut ke manapun kau pergi. Aku, tak akan meninggalkanmu, aku akan setia bersamamu." Si pedagang lalu menoleh ke arah suara itu dan mendapati isteri pertamanya yang berkata begitu. Isteri pertamanya tampak begitu kurus. Badannya seperti orang yang kelaparan. Berasa menyesal, si pedagang lalu berguman, "Kalau saja aku mampu melayanmu lebih baik pada saat aku mampu, tak akan kubiarkan kau seperti ini isteriku."
Teman, sesungguhnya kita punya empat orang isteri dalam hidup ini;
ISTERI KEEMPAT adalah tubuh kita. Seberapa banyak waktu dan belanja yang kita keluarkan untuk tubuh kita supaya tampak indah dan gagah, semuanya akan hilang. Ia akan pergi segera apabila kita meninggal. Tak ada keindahan dan kegagahan yang tersisa saat kita menghadapNYA.
ISTERI KETIGA adalah status sosial dan kekayaan kita. Saat kita meninggal, semuanya akan pergi kepada yang lain. Mereka akan berpindah dan melupakan kita yang pernah memilikinya.
ISTERI KEDUA pula adalah kerabat dan teman-teman. Seberapa pun dekat hubungan kita dengan mereka, mereka tak akan mampu bersama kita selamanya. Hanya sampai kuburla mereka akan menemani kita.
DAN SESUNGGUHNYA ISTERI PERTAMA adalah jiwa dan amal kita. Mungkin kita sering
mengabaikan dan melupakannya demi kekayaan dan kesenangan peribadi. Namun, sebenarnya, hanya jiwa dan amal kita sajalah yang mampu untuk terus setia dan mendampingi kemanapun kita melangkah. Hanya amal yang mampu menolong kita diakhirat kelak.
Jadi, selagi mampu, perlakukanlah jiwa dan amal kita dengan bijak. Jangan sampai kita menyesal kemudian hari!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Recuperating
Alhamdulillah today of all days in the week, i feel at the top. Eventho not fully recovered quite yet but alhamdulillah, i m on the path of recovery. Havent been to the clinic for the whole week, but what can i do, this was not what i planned.
My kids, as usual, when they see me at home, nobody wants to go to school. Lucky amirul is only 5 and Jasmine only has SARA classes in the morning. So i dont grumble much but coz i knew they wanna be close to me esp when i m not well.
They have been super nice indeed, went back and forth to school with Uncle Mat and Auntie Lela (the school van drivers). Normally, eventho i hired the van, i would still send and fetch them from school partly coz i love doing it and the other part is bcoz of safety. But when i have to attend courses or meetings, that's when Uncle Mat and Auntie Lela become handy.
For the past few days when i can barely up, my kids keep checking up on me, esp amirul. He kept waking me up on and off just to make sure i take a sip of drink and a lil bit of food. The statement that he used did put a smile onto my face :D He said "Bonda, bonda, wake up lah.. u have to eat a bit, nanti bonda kurus tau" adoiiii ai... The bodyache just disappeared when i heard that :D Love both of them to death :* :* :*
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Selamatkah Anak Anda?
Subhanallah Bismillahhirrahmanirrahim
I found out this video in facebook but this one i copy straight from YouTube via http://www.dzulhaqq.blogspot.com/
I pray to God for my kids to be protected from this sort of problems.. m very scared indeed as i will recieved my new maid soon.. the current one has been very good to the kids but pity i can't use her service anymore. May Allah protect out kids aameen
Monday, April 20, 2009
Dem!!!
Just received a call from my boss.. have to cancel my leave tomorrow and go to the main office.. i have to attend a meeting with contractors for rangsangan kedua. Bugger!!! there goes my plan!!! Why was it so difficult to discard the pending issue???? Why do they have to do the meeting tomorrow???? kamon la.. benci sungguh!!!!
Routine
Dear owh dear.. m sick again... I've made arrangements for the two days leave i took for today and tomorrow but seems like my plans go awry. As i know these things need to be done.. i gather up the courage and went to Putrajaya this morning... alhamdulilah one thing settled. I still have a few lined up in my list...
Hopefully i will be feeling much better tomorrow.. and can proceed with this longstanding issues i havent settled yet. I want to get rid of these things from my mind. And starts looking ahead with a smile :D
I received an email from UM last week.. stating that i m shortlisted for Master programme in the univ... alhamdulillah..now all depends on KKM's approval for my study leave. I have been delaying this for so long and it's about time for me to leap forward, boost up and enhance my life even more. I have been devoting my life for the family in the past and forfeited the idea of pursuing my studies. Will i be able to cope?, with studies and family? InsyaAllah. when there's a will.. there'll always be a way. I've been through a lot in the past years and with God's will, i sailed smoothly, even during a low tide. And i believed once again, God allow me to go through all these coz He believed in me, and i will, with His help, fly through without fail, insyaAllah.
I thank God for the brilliant kids i have, and for the support they have been to me (without them knowing it tho!). Their neverending love and mischievousness have kept me strong. I cant imagine my life without them.. nauzubillah. If i can.. i want to be there for them all the time, even at a blink of eye.. i want to be there for them. I dont want to miss any part of their life.. not even their first step.. Gosh i was there :D how mesmerising... This motherly love is so intense and i wouldnt let anyone to come inbetween us.
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Muqadimah
Well... as a muqadimah, this will be very short
Been meaning to start blogging but time havent been on my side.
Will try and allocate at least a lil of my precious and squeezed timed for this...
For this is a new beginning of the new me in a new phase of life...
so many 'new' argh..
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